I always wanted to be a mathematician. In high school I was always working on number theory. Trying to prove something new. I remember one day after two days of work I said "I think I proved the infinity of Mersenne primes! Yey!" Few minutes later I realized I was wrong. My five pages of proof was nothing more than a fallacy. Anyway I joined the national mathematical olympiads. I just passed the first exam. Nothing more... I didn't do any spectacular thing . That was a buzzkiller for me... So I gave up... But after 11 years (I'm 26 now) my love for prime numbers suddenly exploded. For a month I read books, articles about number theory, I produce some conjectures and test on Mathematica... I can't control myself about this... But I feel like I'm too late... More importantly I doubt I have an extraordinary math ability. I read many mathematician's biographies. There isn't a story like mine. They're all geniuses with super mathematical powers. They did amazing things when they were so young.
But I can't stop myself. I just read, work on number theory. But on the other hand i don't want to do a futile thing. To be a mathematician someone has to work hard... And I'm okay with that. But do I have the mathematician material? If I don't why I'm a numberphile?
Thank you for reading my post.