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There was a question today under which I left a comment that was not right in the sense that what was implied by that comment would not settle the question at all, but it had to do something with the question.

I was too quick in the interpretation of the question and gave a misleading and wrong comment and that surely is my fault.

But then, I received a comment from some user (I know which one but will not give her/his name) that started with:

"You are so full of shit..."

I would like to say that I can stand when someone tells me that I am wrong and it is nice when she/he is also able to prove that, and sometimes when talking to people here I am maybe sharper than usual and full of criticism but, I am trying to do all in the spirit of politeness and constructiveness, and, so far, I did not say to anyone here that she/he is "full of shit", or "an idiot", or even "a fool", or something much much worser than this mentioned.

Because, one of the reasons for that is that all or almost all people here are unknown to me in "real-life" and are not my "real-life friends" so it is obvious that there is a need to be careful on how to talk with every one of you, because here there are so much different personalities and it is an art to know how to respond to everyone the way she/he wants.

So my question would be:

To where the comments and all that is written here can furthest go? And what to do when comments like the one given to me are received, and then deleted?

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    $\begingroup$ Sometimes things are being said at the heat of the moment, and then rescinded. You could do something, and then realize that you were wrong to do so, and thus delete the comment. It is often (though not always) a good idea to assume there was a moment of clarity by the person who deleted an offensive comment, rather than something else. $\endgroup$
    – Asaf Karagila Mod
    Oct 24, 2017 at 19:48
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    $\begingroup$ I believe this is a rare phenomenon. And moderators generally take care of such issues when you flag the comment and they are very strict about offensive and non-constructive comments. $\endgroup$
    – Paramanand Singh Mod
    Oct 25, 2017 at 0:33
  • $\begingroup$ I once had the same experience,some user which I will not name here once called me a joke.I was at first surprised because he didn't know me enough to call me names.It's always best to just let it go as if it did not happen in order to avoid stooping to his/her level. $\endgroup$
    – Nicco
    Oct 25, 2017 at 12:28
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    $\begingroup$ Jeez, that's just wrong. I would flag that. It would still be annoying if instead they had said "You're completely wrong," but that you would just have to grin and bear it. $\endgroup$
    – David R.
    Oct 27, 2017 at 21:10
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    $\begingroup$ I haven't been that vulgar but I have absolutely regretted a comment and deleted it very quickly. Hopefully before my "victims" noticed. $\endgroup$
    – Todd Wilcox
    Oct 28, 2017 at 20:32
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    $\begingroup$ There's a possibility that the comment got deleted by the "rude flag" itself as per What is the SE version of Seven Dirty Words?, not deleted by the poster themself. $\endgroup$
    – Andrew T.
    Oct 29, 2017 at 19:17

1 Answer 1

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You should flag for moderator attention and explain what's up. Mods can check the history and see even those things which have been deleted.

You should absolutely not engage with that user in any other way. Let moderators handle exceptional incidents like this. Just flag, walk away, and continue to Be Nice on your own.

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    $\begingroup$ And to be clear, you might as well go ahead and flag that one now. I'll handle it shortly. $\endgroup$
    – davidlowryduda Mod
    Oct 24, 2017 at 18:48
  • $\begingroup$ Thank you very much, but I will not expose that user. I think she/he deserves another chance, and I will try to understand better why she/ he acted in such a way. $\endgroup$
    – user480281
    Oct 24, 2017 at 18:50
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    $\begingroup$ @AntoinePalAdeen It isn't your responsibility to decide who deserves another chance - it's the mods' responsibility. How do you know how many "chances" this user has already used up? $\endgroup$
    – Franklin Pezzuti Dyer
    Oct 24, 2017 at 23:13
  • $\begingroup$ @Nilknarf But even if we remove that user from the site, the user could make brand new e-mail account and make brand new MSE account with that e-mail so he could come back even worser than before. Or better, hopefully. $\endgroup$
    – user480281
    Oct 24, 2017 at 23:38
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    $\begingroup$ @Nilknarf I actually just tracked the user down anyway. We don't tolerate such behavior. $\endgroup$
    – davidlowryduda Mod
    Oct 25, 2017 at 0:44
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    $\begingroup$ @AntoinePalAdeen When the same place continues to make accounts to circumvent suspensions, their IP address gets blocked. $\endgroup$
    – davidlowryduda Mod
    Oct 25, 2017 at 0:46
  • $\begingroup$ @mixedmath How many circumventions from the same place are possible? $\endgroup$
    – user480281
    Oct 25, 2017 at 0:49
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    $\begingroup$ How many circumventions from the same place are you planning to make, Antoine? Look, if what you're asking is, does m.se have 100% foolproof resources in place to stop any and all malfeasance, the answer is, of course not – someone who really really wants to get around the defenses could probably do it. If your question is, does m.se do a good job in practice of dealing with those who would harm it, then, in my experience, the answer is, yes, absolutely. $\endgroup$
    – Gerry Myerson
    Oct 25, 2017 at 6:45
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    $\begingroup$ Wondering why someone would downvote this. $\endgroup$
    – Simply Beautiful Art
    Oct 25, 2017 at 11:48
  • $\begingroup$ @GerryMyerson Gerry, I do not plan to make those. If I ever become permanently or temporarily suspended then that would be a very clear message from the community, and I would probably just continue to do my work without almost any help at all. $\endgroup$
    – user480281
    Oct 25, 2017 at 15:22
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    $\begingroup$ @AntoinePalAdeen, you're interpreting Gerry's question too literally. The real point is that the only reason that people would really need to know what the limits are would be to run right up against them. As a matter of policy StackExchange judges that the harm done by giving that kind of assistance to people who want to go right up to the line of what will be tolerated outweighs the value of satisfying your curiosity. $\endgroup$
    – Peter Taylor
    Oct 25, 2017 at 16:02
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    $\begingroup$ @PeterTaylor The truth is that not all written in your comment is really the truth. But the only place to discuss about all of that that comes to my mind is some very green, very open, and very clean meadow, populated with lots of different species of flowers. $\endgroup$
    – user480281
    Oct 25, 2017 at 17:22

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