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I was wondering whether is it rude to tag someone (who was extremely helpful in the past) in the comments of an old post and politely ask them to check out your new question related to another post and to remove that comment after they see it (so the website would not become cluttered with non-helpful comments)?

Thanks for your attention.

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    $\begingroup$ A much better way is to ask via chat if you are aware of the chatrooms visited frequently by that extremely helpful user. BTW I received some comments like this (via this site as well as on my blog). In case you want to draw attention to your question you may go for the Bounty. $\endgroup$
    – Paramanand Singh Mod
    Commented Aug 3, 2020 at 4:12
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    $\begingroup$ So ... Here in Meta, upvotes mean agree, and downvotes mean disagree. So do upvotes on this question mean: "Yes, it is rude"? $\endgroup$
    – GEdgar
    Commented Aug 3, 2020 at 11:29
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    $\begingroup$ @GEdgar that does get said at times put is really an over-generalisation, e.g., the help-center does indicate this only for feature-requests. Voting here should mean it is/is not a useful question to ask. $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 4, 2020 at 0:36
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    $\begingroup$ I let people tag me in comments only with my permission (i.e. I give them consent, sometimes without their asking if I think I have good conversations with them). So if you are tagging somebody you need their permission, and I don't know how you would get this. Doing things without permission is not correct (rude is too strong), I would think. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 4, 2020 at 7:18
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    $\begingroup$ I have seen multiple occasions of a worse behavior. User X is extremely knowledgeable and helpful in a certain area, say general topology, and routinely answers a ton of questions in said area. User Y has received answers to questions in that area from user X in the past. User Y then adds a new question in that area and instead of patiently waiting for an answer, he stalks user X and adds a comment to an unrelated question saying "please can you take a look at <link>"? User X sometimes even answers it, but Y's behavior seems appalling to me. $\endgroup$
    – PatrickR
    Commented Aug 4, 2020 at 8:08
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    $\begingroup$ Just so that it is not confusing, I'll point out that the word tag in the post and the comments means ping. (It's probably nitpicking, but the word tag has a different meaning on Stack Exchange.) $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 7, 2020 at 12:06
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    $\begingroup$ I don't know how to refer to a user who doesn't want to be at-notified without permission without at-notifying them without permission, but do you really mean that you shouldn't be at-mentioned in comments by anyone whom you have not explicitly told that they can do so? That seems an interpretation of commenting etiquette that's far from mine; I wonder if many other people feel the same way. (If so, then I have probably given much offence!) $\endgroup$
    – LSpice
    Commented Aug 11, 2020 at 13:57
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    $\begingroup$ @TeresaLisbon could you clarify what you mean? Do you mean the scenario described in the original question or do you mean all comment notifications also the ones local to a thread (such as this one). $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 10:50
  • $\begingroup$ @quid This is what I mean : sometimes, I meet a good user and we have a good conversation in the comments. Then , I myself tell him "If you like how I answered your question, then you can call me to your other questions, by commenting here" , so I am giving that person consent to call me. That is my call, I would like to see more of that user's questions and likewise he benefits from my attention to the question. I have also received some comments that say "can you solve this question of mine? ..." below answers of mine (not always from OP of that question) ... $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 10:59
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    $\begingroup$ ... and then I look into the linked question. I can understand why the community thinks of it as incorrect behaviour from the answers below, but my take on it is that it does not harm me to see his question, so I see it, and judge it as I would do any other question. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:05
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    $\begingroup$ @TeresaLisbon thank you for the clarification. I asked because some seemed to interpret your remark as saying that you do not want to be comment-notified in any context, not even as direct reply to a comment like we do here, without prior consent. $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:12
  • $\begingroup$ Oh @quid, I am more tolerant than that, but thanks for the clarification anyway. Since becoming Lisbon I've tried to be more responsible, approachable and moderating, so please tell me if I'm doing something wrong. Thanks. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:16
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    $\begingroup$ @LSpice thank you for raising this. In the comments above it is clarified that the remark was intended for the specific context mention in the question. That is, it seems Teresa Lisbon specifically authorizes some users to mention their new questions on earlier posts. Normal commenting activity is not covered by this. $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:17
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    $\begingroup$ @TeresaLisbon no worries, I was quite sure that the confusion came from the different implicit scope and did recall earlier comment conversations we had. In isolation there was some risk of confusion, but it seems clarified now. $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:20
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    $\begingroup$ @LSpice Please pardon me if my comments seemed offensive , even in the slightest, it was not my intention. Indeed, I am very happy being @-notified about anything (even marital status), I probably take less offence to it than some friends at the CBI. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 12, 2020 at 11:21

4 Answers 4

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"Rude" is maybe a strong word, but it is certainly discouraged. If you do it once, likely nothing much negative will happen. But as a rule please do not do this.

An exception might be if the posts are extremely closely linked, say, if you ask a a direct follow-up question or something like that. But even in that case I would recommend to be cautious with the formulation.

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I wouldn't find a one-off comment rude or even a problem in the slightest, especially if this was a subject of particular interest to the user. After all, it takes a moment to be notified of a comment and to either ignore it or to reply that it's not of interest.

Even better if you later prune away your comment.

But to do this repeatedly or in volume would certainly in my view be an abuse of the comment functionality.

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    $\begingroup$ As a matter of fact we do receive flags about this. The one-off is also tricky in that such comments tend to concentrate on certain users at the receiving end. Some don't mind, others do. $\endgroup$
    – quid Mod
    Commented Aug 7, 2020 at 18:35
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    $\begingroup$ @quid I don't doubt it. $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 7, 2020 at 19:52
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Yes, this is rude, really regardless of whether the post is old. If it is in a subject that they are interested in, they will see the new question and answer it if they want to. They don't need a notification to find these questions, it is likely they already visit MSE regularly and have watched tags to find questions they are interested in.

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  • $\begingroup$ Thank you. :$)$ $\endgroup$ Commented Aug 11, 2020 at 18:06
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I have a lot of answers out there and find this behavior quite rare-a few times a year. More often I get tagged after answering a recent question asking me to take a look at another of the same poster's questions, but that is still rare. I would agree it is rude, but say it is not a problem due to the rarity.

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